Today in one of my mommy Facebook groups, someone posed the question: What is something new moms should know, but no one ever tells them? It was such a fun question, that I thought I should do a bit on my blog about it. So, here’s what you should know after you leave the hospital but no one ever tells you)
- Your non-mommy friends and family will not GET you. They don’t understand why you can’t leave the house when it’s naptime. They won’t understand that naptime could be anywhere from 10-1, depending on when’ your child falls asleep. They don’t understand the ‘schedule’. They won’t understand that your child has a bedtime (and they won’t understand if your child doesn’t). They won’t get why you can’t plan anything a year in advance, but also can’t plan anything with less than 24 hours notice. They won’t get why you have to cancel on them because the baby fell asleep or didn’t fall asleep on time, or threw up, etc. They don’t understand ‘babyproofing’. They don’t understand that during conversations you can only half listen, because you have to make sure your child doesn’t get into anything. They don’t understand how much it takes just to get out the door.
- Your relationship with your husband will never, ever be the same. Will it be better? Will it be worse? I guess the answer there depends on your individual relationship. Adding a third person into the mix who gets everyone’s undivided attention will definitely change that yin-yang pre-baby balance.
- You’re doing it all wrong. (Don’t worry- Everyone is.) You’ll quickly learn that EVERYONE has an opinion on how to parent. In the NICU there was a nurse who asked me if I didn’t care about my child because he was on formula. I remember another mom judging me for my son’s runny nose, because at the first sign of a cough, she took her kids to the doctor. One of my best friends gaffed at the idea that we would co-sleep, because I could KILL my son. When my son turned 1, I went back into the workforce and we enrolled him in daycare. I had another mom tell me that she ‘could never let someone else raise her baby.’ Everybody has an opinion. The only one that matters is yours.
- Shit Happens. Ok, The first year you’ll be up to your elbows in poop, but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I mean is that you’re gonna screw it up. They’ll latch to your boob so well that they refuse to take a bottle. They’ll become dependent on a pacifier to go to sleep. You’ll go on vacation and forget their special blanket at home. They will roll off of the bed…. probably more than once. You’ll look down to realize they are eating dirt or crayons or shoelaces. But, you know, shit happens. 🙂 Just do your best!
- Document every moment. So, you don’t have to film every living, breathing second of your kiddo’s life. But, it goes by so fast and you’ll want to remember. I love the little blackboards that parent’s do every month with the child’s favorite things or milestones. I didn’t do those, but I did make sure to take a “monthly” photo in addition to all of the other photos. I wish I had more videos of him! Those photos will serve as memories later.