Stay-At-Home Momster

So, it all started out fine!

I was the BEST stay at home mom I could be. We tried a new park every day. I arranged play dates with other stay at home moms. Our days were full of water color paintings and scented playdough! And, every day, Cal went down for his nap at 1:00, when I was able to get the housework done (and maybe binge watch some Netflix by myself). I was a f*cking SuperMom!

And then, it fell off the rails. Our play dates would cancel, so we would skip the park. Cal wouldn’t go down for a nap until 3, which put him awake until midnight. This would start the whole process over the next day. My husband started travelling a lot more for work. This meant more days of me being totally alone with a 2 year old. More days of cleaning up after the glittery messes, so soon those projects ended too. My little adventurer turned into a TerribleTwo/Threenager and I morphed into a Momster. For every time he threw a fit, I threw a fit too. He threw his toys all over his room and I would threaten to take them away. He would scream for hours, which would in turn cause me to scream for hours. We got into this awful cycle of just yelling and screaming and throwing and tantruming. And, it was awful. He was awful. I was AWFUL. I felt like such a failure.

So, when I was offered a part time job, I jumped at the opportunity. Cal had been begging for months to go back to school, and I was happy to oblige. I did my diligence. I researched a ton of schools online. We visited a handful. And, eventually settled on a beautiful school for him to attend closeby our apartment. We went on 2 tours. We met the teacher. We read reviews. We did all the right things. So, of course, Calvin hated it. And, you know, I hated my job too. So, I did what any loving mommy would, I quit my job and disenrolled him from school after a month.

So, here we are. Momster and the Threenager. At home alone again.

But, this time, I resolved it would be better. I engage more, smile more, play more. I don’t try so hard to make everything perfect. I let things slide that drove me nuts before. Do I snap? Of course! But, we seem to have come to an understanding. When I yell, Calvin responds. He knows that I’m serious and I mean business. So, am I back to being supermom? Maybe not. I’ll settle for not being a momster.

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